Anything you can do....

When the twins were born they were 5 weeks prem and spent 3 weeks in NICU ( Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). It was such a hard and unknown time with the pressure of trying to breastfeed and just wanting to get them home. The hardest decision for me was to build up the courage and go against the grain and decide to fully express and bottle feed the twins. The hospitals are so into "Breast is best" and are not so supportive if you go against this, this was just the start of learning to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks and just do what you know is best.

Being prem meant that the likely hood of the boys being behind babies their age was high and this played on my mind constantly. I was always researching what they should be doing at what age and what the average weights were (never mind our boys were only 4lb7 & 4lb8 when born!).

I was always comparing them to the other babies we knew and stressed so much about them doing everything they did. Everyday I was trying to do things with them to help their development eg. lots of tummy time, toys placed out to encourage rolling, sitting in tri-pillows to encourage sitting, rather than just enjoying them and letting them develop at their own pace. Not only was I worried about how the babies were doing, I was also wanting to appear like I had it all under control and was some sort of "super mum" I guess! When ever they were asleep (I was blessed with great sleepers thanks to NICU) I would bake, clean, do my nails, crafts and anything else to show people you can still do everything you want once you've had babies - never mind the fact I was probably quite exhausted!

Eventually I decided that the worrying was just not worth it and I needed to relax about their development. They certainly weren't behind, infact they were doing everything they should have been at the suggested average age which was awesome (I was just a little blind to this for a while!). Once I relaxed this is when I really started to just enjoy them and they flourished even more!

It's just like everything else in life, we are constantly worried about everyone else and what they're doing and achieveing rather than putting all that energy into our own lives and the things we want to do! Social Media has been a great enabler of this!

As of today, we have two amazing wee 1 year olds who are developing just perfectly! They're getting more and more confident each day and will soon be walking - once upon a time I would have been stressing they weren't doing this already!! But lets be honest, twins walking - it's going to be busy!! So for now, we are loving this stage, enjoying their cheeky personalities and watching their curiosity grow as they realise the possibiites of what they can do!

This has been my biggest lesson since being a mum but I am sure there are still many more to come!! It's a great journey, we just have to learn to sit back, relax and let them go for it!

#lifeohlife